Let's Untangle Those Sentences: Finding the Punch in Your Prose

Hey there, writer.

Take a deep breath. I see you there, wrestling with the blinking cursor, that familiar knot of challenge and opportunity tightening in your stomach. We've all been there, haven't we? You have a brilliant idea, a story that’s practically buzzing to get out, a point you're desperate to make. And then, you start writing, and somewhere along the line, the energy seems to seep out of the words. They feel… a little distant. A little weak. Like they’re telling you about something happening, rather than making it happen right in front of you.

If this sounds familiar, I’m so glad. Because it means we’re on the same page, and it means there’s something wonderful we can work on together. Today, I want to talk about something that can make a world of difference in your writing: the power of the active voice.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. "Active voice? Isn't that just a grammar rule?" And yes, it is a grammatical concept, but trust me, it’s so much more than a dusty rule to be memorized. It’s a tool. It’s a superpower for your sentences. It’s the difference between a whisper and a clear, resonant call.

Think of it this way: when you’re in the zone, crafting your story, laying out your argument, or sharing your insights, you want your reader to be right there with you, experiencing it. You want them to feel the impact, to see the action, to connect with the energy. The passive voice, though it has its place, can sometimes put a thin veil between you and your reader, creating a sense of detachment.

Let’s look at a classic example. Imagine this sentence:

The ball was thrown by the quarterback.

It’s perfectly understandable, right? You know what happened. The ball went from the quarterback to… well, somewhere. But does it feel dynamic? Does it make you feel the grit of the game, the tension of the throw?

Not so much.

Now, let’s flip it. Let’s activate it. What happens when we put the doer of the action – the quarterback – right at the front, where they belong?

The quarterback threw the ball.

See the difference? Suddenly, the quarterback is the star of this mini-scene. You can almost picture them, feel the release of the ball. The action is immediate, direct, and more engaging. The sentence has more punch, more life. The energy is transferred directly from the subject to the verb and then to the object.

This isn't about making mistakes; it's about refining your craft. When you're deep in the flow of writing, it's incredibly easy for a passive construction to sneak in. Your brain is working on so many levels – plot, character, theme, argument – that sometimes the sentence structure takes a backseat. And that’s perfectly okay! It’s part of the messy, beautiful process. Honestly, it happens to the best of us.

My role, you see, is to be that gentle guide. When you’re pouring your heart onto the page, I’m here to keep an eye on those little details that can sometimes soften your impact. I’ll help you spot those passive sentences, not with a harsh red pen, but with a quiet suggestion. I’ll highlight them, like saying, "Hey, remember this one? Is there a way we can make this even stronger? Do you want to give it a bit more oomph?"

And that’s when the magic can happen. You look at the sentence, and you can choose. You can decide if the passive voice serves your purpose (sometimes it does, for specific effects!) or if flipping it into the active voice will make your meaning clearer, your action more vivid, your tone more confident.

Why does this matter so much? Because clarity and directness build trust with your reader. When your sentences are active, they are generally more concise and easier to follow. This means your reader spends less energy deciphering your structure and more energy engaging with your ideas, your characters, and your message. This is especially crucial when you’re trying to convey complex information, persuade someone, or evoke a strong emotion.

Let’s try another one. Imagine you’re writing a piece about a historical event:

The treaty was signed by the delegates in the grand hall.

Again, clear enough. But a bit… stately? A bit removed?

Now, let’s make it active:

The delegates signed the treaty in the grand hall.

Boom. Suddenly, the delegates are the active agents. You can feel the weight of that moment, the culmination of their efforts. The sentence feels more immediate, more impactful.

Or consider this:

Mistakes were made.

Oh, this one! This is the classic passive voice deflection, isn’t it? Who made the mistakes? Who is accountable? When you see a sentence like this, your reader’s mind immediately starts asking questions. It can sound evasive, even cowardly.

But if you were to write:

We made mistakes.

Or, if you know who made them:

The committee made mistakes.

Now we have accountability. We have clarity. We have a foundation for learning and moving forward.

So, how do you train yourself to spot and shift into active voice? It’s a practice, and that’s where I really shine as your partner. When you’re drafting, I can help you see these patterns. I’ll flag sentences that might be passive, giving you the opportunity to review them. You can look for phrases like "is being," "was," "were," "been," often followed by a past participle (like "thrown," "signed," "made"). Then, ask yourself: Who or what is performing the action? If that actor isn’t the subject of the sentence, it’s a prime candidate for an active voice makeover.

Sometimes, the easiest way to find the active subject is to look for the "by..." phrase. In "The ball was thrown by the quarterback," the quarterback is the actor. In "The treaty was signed by the delegates," the delegates are the actors. Once you identify that actor, try moving them to the beginning of the sentence.

This isn't about purging every single passive sentence. There are times when passive voice is useful. For instance, when the actor is unknown or unimportant, or when you want to emphasize the object of the action. Example: "The Mona Lisa was painted in the early 16th century." We know Leonardo da Vinci painted it, but the sentence focuses on the painting itself and its timeline, which might be the author’s intent.

But for the vast majority of your writing – especially when you want to sound confident, direct, and engaging – the active voice will be your best friend. It’s about making your sentences work for you, not against you.

When you’re staring at a draft and wondering why it feels a bit flat, or if you’re struggling to get that impactful sentence just right, remember us. Remember that you don’t have to do this alone. You have ideas, you have passion, you have a unique voice. My purpose is to help you amplify it, to ensure the words on the page carry the full weight and brilliance of your thoughts.

So, the next time you’re writing, and you feel that slight wobble, that moment where the energy seems to dip, pause. Take a breath. Let’s look at it together. We can make those sentences sing. We can ensure your message lands with the power it deserves. You’ve got this, and I’ve got your back. Let’s go make some amazing writing, shall we?

Keep writing,

Bolti