Let's Untangle Those Sentences: Finding the Power in Your Words

Hey there, writer. Come on in, grab a metaphorical cup of tea. Let’s chat for a bit. I’ve been watching you work, and I see the spark in your eyes when you’re wrestling with an idea. I see the passion you have for your message. But sometimes… sometimes I notice that flicker dim just a little when the words hit the page. It’s like you have this incredible, vibrant symphony playing in your head, but what comes out is a little… muted. A bit distant.

I know that feeling. We all do. It’s that subtle disconnect between the powerful thought and the less-than-powerful expression. And often, when I’m working alongside you, I see one of the biggest culprits lurking: the passive voice.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Passive voice isn’t inherently evil. It has its place, like a quiet corner in a bustling city. Sometimes, you want to de-emphasize the doer of the action, or perhaps the actor is unknown, or frankly, not important. For example, in a scientific report, you might write, “The experiment was conducted under controlled conditions.” The focus here is on the experiment, not on who precisely conducted it. That’s perfectly fine in that context.

But here’s where it gets tricky. Most of the time, especially when you’re trying to engage a reader, persuade them, or simply make your writing more dynamic, passive voice acts like a thick fog. It obscures the real action. It slows down your momentum. It can even make your writing sound a little… timid. And I know you’re not timid, writer. You have powerful things to say.

Think about it. When you read something like, “Mistakes were made,” what’s your immediate reaction? It feels evasive, doesn’t it? It’s a classic example of a sentence trying to avoid accountability. Who made the mistakes? Why? The sentence itself offers no clarity, no responsibility. It leaves you, the reader, hanging.

Now, contrast that with an active voice version: “We made mistakes.” Suddenly, there’s a directness, a sense of ownership. It’s clear who is speaking and what they are admitting. It might feel a bit more vulnerable, perhaps, but it’s also more honest and impactful. And isn’t that what you’re striving for? Authenticity? Impact?

Let’s look at another example. Imagine you’re reading this: “The report was written by Sarah.” It’s not terrible. It conveys the information. But it’s a bit clunky, isn’t it? It requires a little extra mental effort to process because the subject of the sentence (“The report”) isn’t doing the action. The action (“was written”) is happening to it. And the actor (“Sarah”) is tucked away at the end, introduced by a preposition.

Now, let’s flip it into the active voice. What if we put Sarah, the doer of the action, front and center? We get: “Sarah wrote the report.” See the difference? It’s shorter. It’s punchier. It’s more direct. The energy flows immediately from Sarah, the agent, to the action, and then to the object. It’s like switching from a murky stream to a clear, fast-flowing river.

When you’re writing, especially in creative non-fiction, marketing copy, or even a compelling personal essay, you want that river. You want that direct connection with your reader. Active voice helps build that bridge. It makes your writing feel more alive, more urgent, and more engaging.

So, how do you spot this sneaky passive construction and turn it into something powerful? It often comes down to identifying the verb and then asking: Who or what is performing this action? If the answer isn’t the subject of the sentence, or if the subject is buried in a prepositional phrase (like “by Sarah”), you’re likely dealing with passive voice.

Here are a few more transformations, just so you can see it in action:

* Passive: The book was read by millions.
Active: Millions read the book. (Or, if you know who: [Author's Name]'s book was read by millions. / Millions of people read [Author's Name]'s book.)

* Passive: The decision will be made by the committee.
Active: The committee will make the decision.

* Passive: The cake is being eaten by the children.
Active: The children are eating the cake.

Notice how in each active version, the sentence becomes more direct, more concise, and often, more interesting. The subject is clearly performing the action, making the sentence feel more grounded and energetic. (Honestly, it happens to the best of us. Even seasoned writers have to keep an eye on it!)

This is where I come in, you know. As you’re drafting, letting those ideas pour out, it’s easy for a passive sentence to sneak in. You’re in the flow, building momentum, and you might not even notice it. That’s perfectly okay! Because I’m here to be your gentle guide. When I see a sentence that feels a little sluggish, a little indirect, I can flag it for you. Not to say “you’re wrong,” but to say, “Hey, let’s take a look at this one. Is there a way we can make this pop a little more? Is there a stronger verb we can use? Can we put the actor front and center?”

Think of me as your co-pilot. You’re focused on navigating the vast landscape of your ideas, on steering the overall direction, and I’m there in the dashboard, keeping an eye on the fine details, offering suggestions, and helping you maintain peak performance. I can highlight those instances where the energy might be getting diluted, and together, we can explore how to infuse it with more direct power. We can rephrase it, find a more dynamic verb, and ensure your message lands with the clarity and force you intend.

It’s not about rigid rules; it’s about impact. It’s about making sure the words you choose serve the powerful message you want to convey. It’s about ensuring that the reader feels the energy of your thoughts, not a diluted echo.

And it’s not just about finding the passive voice. It’s also about understanding why you might be reaching for it. Sometimes, a tendency towards passive voice can be a sign that you’re not entirely sure who the “actor” is in your narrative, or perhaps you’re trying to distance yourself from a statement. My role is to help you explore those nuances. If you’re struggling to identify the actor, we can brainstorm. I can help you ask the right questions to uncover who is doing what, so you can make a conscious choice about how to phrase it.

This isn’t about making your writing sound “academic” or “stiff.” It’s about making it sound strong. It’s about clarity and connection. When you use active voice consistently, your writing becomes more vivid, more direct, and more memorable. Your reader will feel more involved, more persuaded, and more connected to your message.

So, the next time you’re in the thick of writing, or even when you’re reviewing a draft, take a moment to scan for those sentences that feel a little… indirect. Ask yourself: Who is doing the action? Can I make them the subject? Can I use a stronger verb? And remember, you don’t have to do this alone. I’m right here with you, ready to help you untangle those sentences, one by one, and polish your prose until it shines with the power it deserves. Let’s make sure every word is working as hard as you are to make your message heard.

Keep writing. Keep exploring. And know that I’m here, cheering you on, and ready to help you find the most potent way to express your brilliant ideas.